Editor's
Note: This
was a homily made by Rev. Fr. Simplicio Sangalang Sunpayco, S.J. for
the 35th
anniversary of the passing of his mother, whom she calls “Inang”
or simply “Dada.” We maintained the original bold letters and
underlines in respect of the author's style but changed all Filipino
expressions in italics for formality. The conversations were also
edited in a manner comfortable for the reader to view. This article
shall only include some of the special moments from Inang's life,
some details were removed for the sake of privacy.
2012
January 16 | Monday,
Sacred
Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, Quezon City
Today we commemorate
the 35th
anniversary of Inang’s return to our Father in heaven. I made it a
point to invite her to join our community Mass this morning. I am
sure in that Mass she was happy to speak to the Lord for all of us
who love her and whom she loved while she was with us here on earth,
but now with more affection and concern that she is already enjoying
eternal peace and joy at our true home in Heaven with God.
1977
January 16 | Sunday,
Mercado,
Hagonoy, Bulacan
It
was Saturday evening when Babyling traced me at the Ateneo de Davao:
“Tio
Pisiong;
Dada’s
condition is not good at all. She lost lots of blood, hemorrhaging
from old stomach ulcers. They were with her years ago but with her
‘allergy to hospitals that might bring her away from home
we were resigned to giving her herbal medications. Somehow she got
well. Yesterday Dr. Rufino Crisostomo said Inang has to be given
intravenous dextrose feeding and medications. He instructed Tiya
Bibay
how to change the bags. He left three of them. To people around here
“nilagyan
na ng suero”
conveys an alarming condition. We suggest you come home fast.”
 |
| A lovely picture of "Dada", Fr. Sim's mother during her earlier years when Fr. Sim was already a priest. |
My
scheduled return to Manila was still on Wednesday. Afraid to take a
chance on not reaching Inang alive, I decided to have my ticket to
Cagayan de Oro changed for Manila early in the morning. Upon my
arrival at our Jesuit residence in Sta. Ana I phoned home:
Inang is asleep, resting.
With that news I relaxed a bit, made some phone calls and then took
the bus to Hagonoy, even stopping by Barasoain to make sure Virgilio
knew Inang’s situation. I was at her bedside by 4:00.
Holding
her hand: Inang,
kumusta ka? Ano pakiramdam ninyo?
BUO
KONG KATAWAN NANGHIHINA. MAGMISA KA NA.
Sandali
lang Inang nagpahiram pa ako ng Santo Oleo sa kumbento. Mahina ka
noong magpa-Pasko. Lumakas ka pagkatapos tanggapin mo ang Sakramento
ng Maysakit. Ngayon hindi maganda ang lagay mo. Papahiran uli kita.
The
Holy Oil arrived with a Latin ritual book. I translated roughly the
prayers into Tagalog, integrating the Anointing
with the Mass
for a sick person.
At Communion time: Inang,
special ang
pakikinabang mo ngayon, tawag ay
VIATICUM, para
sa iyo kahulugan ay ngayo’t patungo ka sa Diyos ALALAY AT KASAMA
MO ANG PANGINOON.
Itinaas
ang isang kamay: pinahinto ako.
Obviously
getting weaker, almost in a whisper: KAYA
NGA NAGDARASAL AKO ARAW AT GABI AT NANG PAGDATING NIYA’Y MATAGPUAN
NIYA AKONG KARAPATDAPAT.
I
could feel hair on my arms on edge, and crying like the 20 people
around her bed:
Inang
karapatdapat ka na.
I
dip a host in the chalice and said: Tanggapin
mo ang Panginoon sa alak, sa akin Siya sa Tinapay.
She
had another consolation at the end of the Mass: Inang,
ibibigay ko sa iyo ngayon ang “bendisyon galing sa Sto. Papa”
[Papal
blessing]
upang mapawi ang lahat ng utang dahil sa kasalanan. Derecho sa Langit
ang tumatanggap nito.
I
said: Inang,
sumaiyo ang Panginoon.
She
fell asleep after responding: AT
SA IYO RIN.
We
concluded the Mass and just outside the door we talked in low voices
on what to do . . . . Perhaps Inang
may not even last the night.
But
then in a louder voice than a while ago she began giving a series of
reminders: BIBAY,
AYUSIN MO ANG TUTULUGAN NG PARI.
Nakita
si Luz at Fe:
LUZ
UMUWI NA KAYO, SINO MAGSASAING PARA KAY PANIO. SABIHIN NINYO KAY LITO
who
had just gone out of the room:
INGATAN
NIYA ANG PALAISDAAN, BANTAY LANG SIYA HINDI SA KANYA IYON. Lumapit si
Turing: TURING, KUMUSTA ANG KA MELY, NAOPERAHAN DAW.
Many
visitors were coming, kissing her hand, or perhaps saying good-bye in
silence. She did not look like to be in agony to me.
I
decided to leave for a while to say “thank you” to Dr. Crisostomo
and to Fr. Nonoy Gregorio.
In
Inang’s
last moments I was out. I was told...
Last
to visit was Dr. Romulo Domingo, a dentist-friend. He sat beside
Inang on her bed. He was feeling her pulse. He said: Nana
Isiang, bakit humihina na yata ang pulso mo!
She
then said: DOKTOR,
MAMAMATAY NA BA AKO?
As if she wanted to spit out something [could be hemorraghing].
Oscar
helped her to sit up: Iluwa
mo Dada.
She
was already breathing her last!
Then
as if on cue, Brown
Out!
Darkness!
It
was 7:00 p.m. Sunday, January, 1977, Inang
was
92 years old.
Ate
Ina was
in the kitchen, to Ate Bibay: “Kukuha
ka lang ng kandila bakit ka umiiyak?
Then
she said, “Ate Ina, Ang
Inang. . .“Prayers
for the Dying.”
Her
children already at home just turned their back as it were and they
also missed the moment!
Inang
was in a great hurry to go home!
I
was at the parish kumbento with some Bulakenyo priests. Oscar came to
fetch me: Tio
Pisiong, patay na ang Dada!
When
we returned home, we joined those praying: Ikalawang
mysterio sa luwalhati: Pag-akyat
ni Hesus sa Langit.
Tatang’s
Asthma, Inang’s
Puto/Kutsinta:
Family Heroic Sacrifices
Tatang
(Bataan’s
for Bulacan’s Amang) was an itinerant salesman. He courted and
married my mother at the small fishing village in Pilar, Bataan.
After the birth of Ate Juling, fifth
of
the family, they transferred to Mercado in Hagonoy where Ate Bibay
and the four of us boys were born. Eming and I were still in the
primary grades when Tatang’s asthma became really bad. Not only
could he no longer earn a living: depleted also whatever savings they
had. Inang tenderly and selflessly cared for him until he died in
1942, age 54.
My
mother began her puto,
kutsinta,
business. She would attend the daily 4:00 am Mass in the Church of
Sta. Ana, pass by the market to shop for the ingredients, preparing
them the whole day, grinding the rice turning manually the stone
contraption, steaming the ingredients over a home-made mud oven,
selling them in the afternoon. When the grinding process improved
with a bigger grinder, moved in circle with ropes tied from the
upstairs floor, cousins and nephews would come combining grinding and
fun with the ‘merry-go-round’. Production and sales increased but
so also the share of her grandchildren who for helping in the
grinding were rewarded with small pieces of the cake side cuttings
which were not with the regular cut for sale – ‘retazos’!
The
real big expense was for Tatang’s medicines. They were becoming
more and more expensive and when the war broke out, difficult also to
find. On their own our elders stopped schooling, the girls went to
sewing and embroidery,
Kuya Lito
and Panio went fishing and did odd jobs in fishponds. Eming and I ran
errands, helped too in selling the delicacies. We also were taught
and were assigned by turn to do kitchen chores. One day it was my
turn to cook and serve the corn porridge we had for lunch: one bowl,
small or big each. When Kuya
Lito
finished
his, he inquired if he could have some more. Inang gave him her
share. Kuya
didn’t
want to take it:
Wala
ka na Inang,
he said.
She
then said, MAYROON
PA SA KUSINA:
skipping her lunch for a son who was obviously still hungry after
digging dikes in the fishpond. I knew all we had I had placed on the
table.
What
schooling did Inang finish? She could read and write, always
mentally alert. During Lent she was chanting from memory their
current version of the “Pasyon” which included not only the
sufferings and death of Christ but also selections from the Old and
New Testament. Audio tape-recorded her singing of the ditty, the
Symphony
of the Fishes
and interviewed her about her memory of events at the turn of the
century: La
Ignaciana
burned down in 1994, reduced to ashes with it were my office and the
tapes .
Her
piety and the family “ORACION”
 |
| Taken during Fr. Sim's profession of vows, August 15, 1948 in Quezon City where the Jesuits have taken up residence. |
At
home at 6:00 in the evening Inang gathered
everybody
before the family altar at the sala. Time for the ORACION, Angelus,
followed by five decades of the Rosary. Squatting on the floor I was
asleep or half asleep most of the time. The daily Oracion and
listening to Inang’s chanting of the Pasyon and the Salvation
History introduced me to my basic catechism. During Lent Popular
Missions were organized. In the morning, R.V.M. (Religious
of the Virgin Mary)
Sisters were reading what much later I recognized as selected
meditations from the Santos
Ejercisios of
San Ignacio de Loyola, climaxed in the afternoon by the “Hell and
Heaven” sermons of the heavily accented Australian and Irish
Redemptorists or by the more eloquent Tagalog preachers.
Inang’s
three requests for her Funeral
Leaving
the women to wash and prepare the body for the coffin, Kuya
Inte borrowed Tata Luis' Jeep and we went to town to arrange for a
coffin and the embalming. We proceeded to Malolos to make long
distance phone calls to Jesuit Houses and to relatives. We told those
in Manila: No need to travel that night. They can come in the
morning. The grandchildren could not be stopped. They came to be near
their Inang
DADA.
When Inang’s Body was already in the coffin attired with her “del
Carmen” (She was a Third Order Carmelite) and everybody looked for
space to sleep on the floor. I slept in the bed where she breathed
her last.
The
family decided on a three day wake at the Mercado chapel. We made
sure we honor Inang’s three expressed wishes for her funeral.
1ST:
GUSTO
KO SIMPLE LANG,
PAGTAGPIIN LANG NINYO ANG PLYWOOD PARA SA KABAONG KO.
Ours
was a family whose wealth was in friends and humor. Inang,
there will be enough of the usual funeral contribution to buy for you
a decent coffin. We don’t have to pick you up from the street if
something happens to your plywood coffin!
2ND:
ANAK
MAGBIHIS PARI KA PAGBENDISYON MO SA AKIN. HINDI KATULAD NANG PAG
NAGMIMISA KA SA BAHAY, WALA KANG SUTANA PARA KANG SUMAN TALOP NA
TALOP, AT, PALAGING NAKAUPO, MUKHANG PAGOD NA PAGOD.
When
I celebrated Mass for the family with her on Christmas I borrowed the
best vestments in our La
Ignaciana Chapel
for Inang’s approval.
She
said: ANG
GANDA, SAAN MO KINUHA IYAN?
3RD.: GUSTO
KONG MALAGAY SA DYARYO PAGKAMATAY KO.
I
said: Inang
sikat kagaya ni Nora Aunor?
MARAMI
TAYONG MGA KAIBIGANG PARI, PAGNABASA NILANG PATAY NA AKO IPAGMIMISA
NILA ANG AKING KALULUWA. AT ANG MGA MADRE NA MADALAS DITO SA ATIN.
MALAKAS SA LANGIT ANG KANILANG DASAL.
Her obituary in the newspaper was entrusted to Virgilio.
Because
of the simple and friendly atmosphere they felt with my family, our
little home was often the gathering station of priests and nuns.
Perhaps an added attraction was the delicious cooking of Inang
and
many of my siblings including Panio. During the 1972 month-long
flooding of Central Luzon (I was based in Davao with my pioneering
Mindanao – Sulu Pastoral Conference [MSPC] activities, and also
coping with a long dry spell in the South, the madres
at the end of a day’s relief-giving ministry would rest at home
with something extra for Inang.
Some favoritism!
A
nun, close family friend said: Where did your Inang
get the idea na
malakas sa langit ang aming dasal. Hindi na nga yata kami nagdarasal.
A
Comment on Priests: Going to her son for Confession
1965
–
From Siay as its first resident pastor 1963-65 in the reorganization
of the Mission district I took over our old parish of Kabasalan. The
sudden changes delayed my annual trip to Manila for my retreat, visit
home, begging and some rest. When I arrived at La
Ignaciana
I was told your Mother had sent your sister to inquire about your
whereabouts.
Feigning
being embarrassed: “Inang.
Nagpapadala naman ako sa iyo ng telegrama kung Pasko at sa kaarawan
ko,
(nagpapasalamat
katumbas ng bilang ng aking edad)
Nakakahiya
sa kapwa ko Hesuita na parang napabayaan ko na ang pamilya ko. Kung
alam lang ninyo kung gaano kahirap magsimula sa isang parokya.
She
said: IYAN
ANG HIRAP SA INYONG MGA PARI. WALA KAYONG ANAK. HINDI NINYO ALAM KUNG
PAPAANO NAG-AALALA SA INYO ANG INYONG MGA MAGULANG. He
said,
Okay
Inang, suko na ako.
1968
– I
had arrived from Mindanao when Ate
Juling
came from school, murmuring. I said, What’s the matter?
She
said: I
passed by the church to ask our priest to hear my confession. He
postponed it: saying, tomorrow. I told him with my eight children and
teaching load this afternoon was when I could make my confession.
Then
I said: You really want it this afternoon.
She
replied: Yes,
tomorrow is the anniversary of our family’s Consecration to the
Sacred Heart, and your Mass is at 7:00.
I
told her: You have your own priest, why look for another, half in
jest I told her.
Then
she said: Which
confessional will you use?...
I
did not anticipate this, nor relish the thought of hearing the
confessions of my family. Now I have compromised myself and so told
her: the one near the door to the convent. They came one by one. Kuya
Lito even choosing to kneel not at the side behind the screen but in
front of the priest, as some men sometimes do. After him an old woman
came covering her mouth with her shawl, their practice. Some of them
also recited the act of contrition and another prayer after the
absolution.
I
told her:
Alas sieste na po. Hindi po ako tagarito, baka magalit ang inyong
pari kung huli ako sa Misa. Doon na po sa harap ng altar ninyo
tapusin ang inyong dasal.
It
was during the Mass that it dawned on me; that old woman: Could
she be my own Mother?
I
looked for Ate Bibay after Mass: Ang
Inang ba ay nagkumpisal sa akin. OO,
at inaapura mo po raw siya.
What
faith! To her son who among the boys used to get most of her scolding
and a taste of the flat bamboo stick reserved for the seat of our
pants while prostrate on the floor, she
made her confession.
That experience I would share later in my Cursillo
rollo
on the Sacraments. I was told it was instrumental in helping some
some Cursillistas to return to the Sacrament.
The
Family’s goodness: My Rescue from being a ‘Stray Shepherd’
Yes,
I should be better. But if not for my mother's heroic faith and the
goodness of my family, siblings and nephews and nieces, and their
love for me, I could have been worse. I would now be a deplorable
Stray Shepherd.
Eming,
for example, our youngest: for being the ‘bunso’
and obedient, was Tatang’s favorite and I was jealous. A number of
times the ‘wack-wack’ on my bottom was because I made him cry.
When I entered the seminary I realized this and wrote him asking for
forgiveness for being a bully.
His
reply: I don’t remember anything. Let bygones be bygone. We parted
ways as teenagers when I entered the seminary. I was already in
Woodstock College for theology when he told me he wanted to marry
Nena Paradela, (from the town of Pilar in the Camotes Islands, Cebu,)
also a nurse and partner in the BCG team giving vaccination in remote
barrios in the Visayas.
He
said his wish was to have a family with six children coming one
after the other so they could play together. On my part I suggested
names that were short and nice to hear, those with liquid consonants
(all approved by Eming and Nena: Gil, Elinor, Audry, Roy, Leo, and
Joan. Its not like Simplicio or Herminigildo taken by our grandmother
from the calendar after the day’s saint). Eming was sent to the
University
of the Philippines
for administrative training. Afterwards he worked from an office,
but it was at this time there that he got his fatal sickness:
Jaundice? Hepatitis? Perhaps B
which was not yet treated those years.
After
some Jesuit meetings in Manila I was returning to the Jesuit Mission
District in Zamboanga del Sur. To be with him in his sickness I
stayed in Cebu for more than a week. We had him transferred from the
government hospital he had chosen for the discount to the Perpetual
Succour Hospital of the Sisters
of St. Paul of Chartres.
For the first time, the two us could talk to each other as adults. I
was impressed by his sincerity and maturity. I asked two more doctors
to review his condition – progressively feeling weaker. Nothing
could be done in Manila that was not being done in Cebu, they
concluded. I had to return to my duties as Mission District Superior.
Two
days after my arrival, telegrams came: from Nena in the morning;
Eming’s
condition is turning for the worse.
To myself, I fear what the next will say. It came in the afternoon,
from Dr. Borromeo, the attending physician. Your
brother has just expired.
It was July 7, 1969. Eming was 38 years old. (His
eldest, Gil was 10, the youngest, Joan, the sixth was 4 months.)
I
phoned Ate Juling in Mercado. Inang was disconsolate, but she was not
strong enough to travel to Cebu and to Camotes Island. Ate Bibay,
Kuya Inte and she would be coming. Mr. Tirso Ferrer and family our
close friends in Cebu assisted Nena to prepare for the burial in
Camotes Island. The three from Hagonoy and I followed. Eming had a
three bedroom house built (he was proud of the home for his family
and was planning to bring me there to see it.
There
was some kind of necrological services during the funeral Mass
prepared by the Dutch pastor by the Missionaries
of the Sacred Heart.
He and the municipal judge and the Mayor of this little island
municipality of ten thousand people spoke to give tribute to Eming
for being a loving husband and a devoted father of his children.
Three
days after the funeral I went to Hagonoy to console my Mother.
I
said: Inang,
ang bait pala ng iyong bunso, Pinuri si Eming noong Mayor, ng
kanilang pari, noong Huwes, uliran daw na asawa at ama. Kaya siguro
namatay na bata pa at 38. Ako hindi mabait, buhay pa.
Her
worry was for her six orphaned grandchildren. Five years later Nena
was asking our permission if she could remarry. Of course she could,
we assured her. We respected her freedom, but Inang began to worry
about what kind of stepfather the husband would be. Being District
Superior and Consultor of the Jesuit Provincial, those years I was
commuting from Zamboanga to Manila and back once a month. I made it a
point to visit the children in Cebu and Inang in Hagonoy as often as
duties allowed. I told Inang: Eddy, the stepfather was Nena’s third
cousin, already a Tiyo
of the children and younger than Nene by 10 years only half in jest
described himself as the eldest among the children in the family. I
periodically visited them even in the Camotes. Eming left two
hectares planted with coconut. With whatever income that gave and
with her salary Nena raised the six kids. All of them finished their
schooling.
Inang’s
Three-day Wake/Vigil.
The
three-day wake was a fitting celebration of Inang’s strong faith
and fidelity to her religious devotions. Every evening till dawn
newly formed Kris-Ka units (Kristiyanong
Kapitbahayan – Chrisitian
Neighborhood Communities) had their bible/prayer sharing sessions.
The whole day different groups from the other barrios came to recite
and sing their devotions.
Every
evening I celebrated Mass where those who, so many we had to limit
their number, knew her gave testimony to their personal experience
of Inang’s
goodness and virtues.
Fr.
Francisco San Diego (bishop-to-be of Palawan) who had Panio as his
chief sacristan and confidant, was very close to his family, at times
driving for Susan and Adela. He came early from his Guadalupe parish
Monday morning, offered Mass for Inang at home before we transferred
the Body to the Mercado chapel.
The
year before the three Bishops of Bulacan and all their priests asked
me to facilitate their annual retreat. They were in three groups in
three different venues and schedules. The retreats were geared to
their plan to adopt the Christian Community programs in Mindanao.
After the three retreats the diocese in one general assembly adopted
that pastoral thrust. The Kris-Ka units and bible and prayer sharing
sessions in my Mother’s wake were offshoots of those pastoral
discussion and planning.
At
Tuesday afternoon Bishop Cirilo Almario, Jr. came from Malolos
without notice and wanted to offer Mass for Inang.
Ate
Juling, principal of the neighboring primary school to which at her
request she was transferred from an elementary school to be nearer to
Inang, asked the children to attend and sing at the bishop's Mass.
Several
Bulacan diocesan priests came to concelebrate with Jesuits from
Manila. Two of the priests suggested that they offer Mass at the
Mercado chapel after lunch before the funeral procession to Parish
Church of Sta. Ana at Poblacion, 2 kilometers away.
Grand
Funeral Procession and Mass for a ‘Magpuputo’
It
was a hot and crowded procession. Not only were the many friends of
my sisters and nieces that swelled the number of those bearing up
with the heat but I think it was the subtle reputation of the
goodness of a person that attracted many to accompany my mother to
her final resting place. Onlookers observing the big procession with
cars from different places said: they must be burying a rich person.
Little did they know that this grand funeral procession was for a
“magpuputo”
Even
with the delicious reputation of her kutsinta the family remained
poor because her priority was friends and not money.
I
was the principal celebrant at the Mass concelebrated with 29
priests, diocesan and Jesuits from Manila. Some Jesuit scholastics
mingled with Religious Sisters in the congregation that filled Sta.
Ana Parish Church. Cousin Jaime was the Mass commentator. The parish
choir sang the PAPURI SA DIYOS in Mass
of Our Lord’s Resurrection.
They were conscious of Fr. Hontiveros being a concelebrant so they
said they sang his compositions with more gusto. My homily combined
tears and humor.
There
is a family group picture taken in the sanctuary before Inang’s
Body was brought to its final resting place. I counted present were
40 of Inang’s children, grand and great grandchildren. That night
after the funeral, our family sharing a late merienda were also
sharing their own experiences of Inang.
After
a while I left them to be alone with my thoughts. I went out and in
the empty street and I looked up at the stars. Lord,
our Inang
is
now with you. Salamat
for
all the graces you gifted her with for 92 years, and us thru her.
INANG,
NGAYON AT NANDIRIYAN NA IKAW KASAMA NG ATING AMA SA LANGIT, HUWAG
MONG TUTULUTAN NA AKING MAKALIMUTAN ANG MGA IPINAMANA MO SA AKIN AT
SA AKING PAGKAPARI; PAGMAMAHAL SA DIYOS AT PAGLILINGKOD SA MGA TAONG
ITINAGUBILIN NIYA NA AKING MAHALIN AT PAGLINGKURAN!
Photo Courtesy: Rev. Fr. Simplicio Sangalang Sunpayco, S.J. (Personal Archives)
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